The Shape of Water is… Something

My God. Is this the slippery slope Fox News pundits have been yelling at baby boomers this whole time?

The Little Hours Review

Siblings, parents, grand kids and bitch-ass friends: gather round the television to hear The Little Hours' holy message.

The Big Sick Review

I know I'm in the minority. The Big Sick has almost universal praise and I'm the fly in the ointment. But if you ask my family, that's the role I was born to play.

Baby Driver Review

Baby Driver is stupid. This wonderful statement of opinion comes to you from a guy who sat behind me during my screening of The Fate of the Furious.


General Porpoise Doughnuts Review

General Porpoise Doughnuts in Seattle, WA sells perfect doughnuts. Just be sure to open a few credit cards before coming to visit.


The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild Review

I have no memory of time before the darkness. The moment my eyes opened to the darkened chamber was my oldest memory. I hadn’t any idea as to my location, identity or purpose. Curious, I found my way through the...


The Mummy Review

In classic monster movie fashion, Universal stood upon the blood alter and sacrificed their first child in the name of the unborn.


Trial & Error Season 1 Review

Trial & Error is a real television show? It's likely that Trial & Error is just an elaborate prank someone is trying to pull on me... or I've had a stroke.


Hold On… I Gotta Instagram This Real Quick

This is my friend. We are standing on the banks of the Hood River in Oregon. This is a convergence point where to branches of the river reconnect. If I turned my camera to the left you’d see a series of waterfalls...