Bowl of Sugar Cookie Toast Crunch

Is Sugar Cookie Toast Crunch Sweet Enough? No! SWEETER!

Sugar Cookie Toast Crunch tastes just like the sugar cookies your grandma use to make. Keep in mind, I am making the assumption that your grandma is terrible at baking. I bet the best your nana could manage is a tray of straight-from-the-tube sugar cookies. I am also willing to bet that your grandma is a racist alcoholic too.

Cinnamon Toast Crunch is undoubtedly one of the greatest cereals ever created. Now take out the regular crispy cereal pieces of regular CT Crunch, replace them with a tube of Pillsbury sugar cookie dough, coat it all in the patented CT Crunch powder and you’ve got Sugar Cookie Toast Crunch. It’s a sugar-fueled child’s breakfast fever dream!

Sugar Cookie Toast Crunch surprised me with how much it actually tasted like a batch of Pillsbury sugar cookies. That isn’t really a compliment since store bought cookie dough doesn’t taste that great… but still! At least they got the flavor right.

Piece of Sugar Cookie Toast Crunch

Sugar Cookie Toast Crunch has the same nutritional stats as its original counterpart. It’s technically not higher in sugar in anyway but it sure does taste sweeter. You’re making a cereal that’s covered in sugar and cinnamon and then adding cookie flavoring. How General Mills managed to keep the sugar count the same while increasing the taste of sweetness is a testament to their ability of hooking kids on drugs– I mean breakfast cereal.

When you get right down to it, Sugar Cookie Toast Crunch is really just a weird tasting Cinnamon Toast Crunch. The definition of weird depends on your preference for Pillsbury cookie dough. Maybe you like that slightly artificial taste.

Maybe it reminds you of your cold, foreboding grandma who would slap some store-bought dough on a rusty baking sheet, slam it into the oven and crank the settings to an undetermined heat. “Let God do the rest,” she would mutter as she sank back into her recliner. The pestering sense of obligation to placate the spoiled kids destroying her home is barely enough motivation to be a pretend host. The artificial relationship between you and your gammy is made clear when she finally lifts her gaze from the bottom of a highball and stares blankly into your eyes.

You may share the same blood. But this– whatever this is… it isn’t real. None of it. It’s all pretend.

Sugar Cookie Toast Crunch