Free Fire Review

If you’re looking for a fun, energetic, action-packed movie filled with memorable characters and sharp dialogue, then Free Fire is a movie you may want to investigate. But be forewarned! You will forget that you ever saw Free Fire. All memory of this film will be erased from your mind the moment the credits finish rolling. Details will become a soft haze. You will ask yourself, “was Free Fire real? Or was it a dream?”

I wish I had known the truth before going into the theater. Had I been aware, I would have brought my dream journal. That way I could have quickly jotted down all of my thoughts and impressions before they waft slowly into the atmosphere.

As it is, I’m left only with ghostly impressions. If my mind is prodded, subtle memories are recovered. Like a psychic, I begin to see fragments.

I see weapons… and money.

I see polyester suits… and big sideburns.

I hear an Irish Accent.

I hear a South African Accent.

I taste Australian licorice.

I remember that I am the one eating the Australian licorice and that the Free Fire is not actually affecting my taste buds.

I see… Brie… the cheese? No that can’t be right. It’s… it’s…

Oh no! The memory is fading. My brain is straining to recall any other detail pertaining to Free Fire. I am no longer cognizant of its existence. I am struggling to remember. A fog forms swiftly and envelopes me. I am separated from the past. I am bored. I desire to see a fun, energetic, action-packed movie filled with memorable characters and sharp dialogue.

Hmm…

I’ve never heard of this Free Fire movie. I’ll give it a try. It looks fun!