Hell or High Water Review

“Hell or High Water” is a modern western modeled in the old style. Chris Pine and Ben Foster play brothers Toby and Tanner Howard (respectively) who have planned a series of bank robberies. Jeff Bridges plays Texas Ranger Marcus Hamilton who is on one last mission before his dreaded retirement. This review should be sung to the tune of “Mamas Don’t Let Your Babies Grow Up to Be Cowboys” by Ed Bruce.

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Toby, don’t let your babies grow up to be cowboys
Don’t let ’em shoot coyot’s or be a farm hand
Let ’em live high from the oil on your land

Toby, don’t let your babies grow up to be cowboys
Put up a fight so they’re rich all their life
Even your stupid ex-wife

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Marcus ain’t easy to love and he mumbles his words
And he’d never give you respect, just insults and slurs
Shiner Bock beer and Pendleton blankets
White cattleman ‘top of his head
His partner don’t know why he just won’t retire
And why he would rather be dead.

Marcus, don’t let the country take away cowboys
Always a ranger, just huntin’ down crooks
Don’t need religion or hobbies or books

Marcus, don’t let the country take away cowboys
T-bones and taters and corn on the cobb
Just tell ’em whatchya don’t want

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Tanner loves smoky casinos and fierce confrontations
Big warm machine guns and money and wild girls at night
Them that don’t know him won’t like him
and them that do most definitely won’t like him either
He’s wrong, knows the outcome
But his pride won’t let him go out without giving a fight

Mamas, don’t let your babies grow up to be cowboys
Don’t let ’em pick guitars and drive them old trucks
Make ’em be doctors and lawyers and such

Mamas, don’t let your babies grow up to be cowboys
‘Cause they’ll never stay home and they’re always alone
Even with someone they love

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